Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:

 Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

Boy1:Meet my wife Tina

 Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in maths class

Think +ve:)

Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen

 Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.

Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?

2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.

 2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.
Banta: What does your wife look like?
Santa: She is 5'7?, 36-24-36 sexy figure,
fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours?

Banta: Forget mine, let us look for yours.

A ship was sinking.

 A ship was sinking.
Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
A priest comes forward and says he can pray.
Captain: Ok priest, you pray;
Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket
as we are one jacket short.

Man:Doctor My Son has swallowed a key.

 Man:Doctor  My Son has swallowed a key.
Doctor: When ?
Man:Three Months Ago
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Man: We were using duplicate key

What’s the difference between Dava & Daru?

 What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,

 Have a horrible day without water in ur bathroom,
while soap in ur eyes.
Oh!sorry, dis msg is not 4 u.
Its only 4 those who do not take bath everyday…

Soldier:Sir, we are surrounded!

 Soldier:Sir, we are surrounded!
Major:Excellent!
We can attack in any direction now!

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours, “Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady.”

 A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
“Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady.”

After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared
& said,”Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley”

Hi, Doing nothing?

 Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then make a place,
4 Me in ur heart!!
I may come there any time!
Urs faithfully,
Heart Attack

This is my head ….

 This is my head ….

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Itni dair dabanay k liyay thanks.
I am feeling much better now:-)

Boy U r d Sunshine

 Boy U r d Sunshine
Of My Life !
Without U Life’s Like A
Dreamy Cloud !
U r In My Heart Like A
Lovely Drizzle In d Sun !
Girl: Now Go Further
I’ve 2 Listen More
Weather Report :p

Impact of Movies:

 Impact of Movies:

Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?

Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!

Once there was a mirror which used to kill “LIERS”

 Once there was a mirror which used to kill “LIERS”
FRENCH:I think I don’t smoke (killed)
AMERICAN:I think, I love Iraq(killed)
Anil :I think (killed)

Interviewer:what is skeleton?

 Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

What does ILU means?

 What does ILU means?

I= I
L= Love
U=Urdu
so I love urdu…
tum kya samjhey they…
I love ullu..
to haan mein tum say bhi pyar karta hoon

Devils went to Court to Prove

 Devils went to Court to Prove
that he is The Most,
Cruel & wicked Guy on Earth.

But he Failed, He Came Out Angrily & Asked,
Yaar ye “Mirja ” kon hai?

1st ever intelligent sardar.

 1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)

I wrote your name on sand, it got washed.

 I wrote your name on sand,
it got washed.

I wrote your name in air,
it was blown away.

I wrote your name on my heart &
i got Heart Attack.

Three ants find an elephant asleep.

 Three ants find an elephant asleep.
One says,”We’ll kill him!”
Other one says,”We’ll break his legs!”
3rd one says:
“choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen..!!”:-)

Full form of maths

 Full form of maths

M=mentally
A=admited
T=teacher
H=harassing
S=students

Meri zindagi per faqat itna ehsan ker do,

 Meri zindagi per faqat itna ehsan ker do,
ik benam si mohabbat mere nam ker do,

ik subha ko milo aur shaam ker do,
Aur sham tak mere ghar ka sara kaam ker do

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-

 Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally……

Thats why boys go to college

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?

 Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ?
Mind u - it’s really very very urgent,
damn serious and very imp ….
I’m playing cards and
we’ve misplaced the JOKER.

Roses r red, violets r blue,

 Roses r red,
violets r blue,
monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Dont get angry,
you will find me there too,
not in the cage but laughing at you.

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??

 Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent ……

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De….

hy do girls close their eyes while kissing a guy?

 Question : Why do girls close
their eyes while kissing a guy?
Guess…
Guess
.
.
.
Answer : Yeh ladkiyan ladkon
ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti.

If I was an artist,

 If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!

But I’m only a cartoonist!

What is a girl friend?

 What is a girl friend?

Addition of problems,
subtraction of money,
multiplication of enemies
&
division of friends

Father to son:

 Father to son:
whenever i beat you,
you dont get annoyed,
how you control your anger?

son: i start cleaning the toilet
seat with your toothbrush

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!

 In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don’t have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna’a birth place, Jail.

What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his examination?

 Q: What did the gangster’s son
tell his dad when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything.”

A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin and say

 A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study

Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:

 Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”

Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

uman brain is the most outstanding object in world.

 Human brain is the most
outstanding object in world.
It functions 24 hours a day,
365 days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

Can we do romance in the midnight today?

Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I’m in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.

What was GOD’s First Reaction when he made a Negro(African)?

 What was GOD’s First Reaction
when he made a Negro(African)?

Socho…

Dont know..

Oh! shit jal gaya!!

In our life time

 In our life time
6 things can come at any time:
1.love
2.friendship
3.money
4.death
5.illness
-
-
-
6.susu: isliye karke sona .

UNIVERSAL TRUTH :

 UNIVERSAL TRUTH :

When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Comfortable

Nor

Boys are comfortable…. !!

Life Is Like A Movie

 Life is like a MOVIE…
If u r sad - DRAMA
If u r afraid - SUSPENSE
If u r angry - ACTION
When u look at the mirror - HORROR

Never Kiss A Police Woman

 Never kiss a police woman.
she ‘ll say stop and handsup.
Never kiss a nurse she
will say next plz. Always kiss a teacher.
She ‘ll repeat it 10 times.

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Dosti Ki Wafadari Me Gum Ka Andhera Aata Kyu Hai,
Jise Humne Chaha Wo Hume Rulata Kyu Hai,
Agar Wo Mere Nasib Mei Nahi,
To Khuda Aise Logo Se Milata Kyu Hai…

 

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Khuda Ne Jab Tujhe Banaya Hoga,
Ek Suroor Sa Uske Dil Mai Aaya Hoga,
Socha Hoga Kya Dunga Tohfe Mai Tujhe,
Tab Jake Usne Mujhe Banaya Hoga…

Aap Hume Bhool Jao Hume Koi Gum Nahi,
Aap Hume Bhool Jao Hume Koi Gum Nahi,
Jis Din Humne Aapko Bhuladiya,
Samajh Lijiyega, is duniya me hum nahi…

Na Jagte Huve Khwab Dekha Karo,
Na Chaho Use Jise Pa Na Sako,
Pyaar Kaha Kisika Pura Hota Hai,
Pyaar Ka Pehla Akshar Adhura Hota Hai…

 

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Palkon pe apni bitaya hai tumhe,
Badi duao ke baad paaya hai tumhe,
Aasani se nahi mile ho tum
National Zuological Park se churaya hai tumhe….!!!

 

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Humse Dosti Nibhate Rehna
Har Mod Par Aazmate Rehna,
Lekin Door Kabhi Mat Hona,
Chahe Sari Umr Bhar Satate Rehna….

 

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Mene Bhi Kisi Se Pyaar Kiya Tha,
Thoda Nhi Beshumar Kiya Tha,
Humari To Zindagi Hi Badal Gayi Jub Usne Kaha,
Are Yar… Mene To Majak Kiya Tha..

 

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Deep To Andhi Mei Bhi Jala Karte Hain,
Phool To Kanton Mei Bhi Khila Karte Hain,
Kitne Khusnaseeb Hota Hain Wo Jinhe
Aap Jaise Pyare Dost Mila Karte Hain…

 

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Pi Hai Sharab Har Gali Ki Dukan Se,
Dosti Si Ho Gayi Hai Sharab Ki Jam Se,
Gujre Hai Hum Kuch Aise Mukam Se,
Ki Aankhen Bhar Aati Hai Mohabbat Ke Nam Se..

 

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